Why sleep can feel so elusive after 40 (and the simple changes that actually work)

You've been tossing and turning again. It's 2 AM, then 3 AM, then 4 AM - your mind churning through tomorrow's to-do list while simultaneously wishing you’d just drop off again. When your alarm finally goes off, there’s a sense of “here we go again” as you haul yourself up to get on with the day.

Sound familiar?

If you're a woman over 40, you're not alone in this struggle.

I hear it constantly from clients: 

"I'm so tired all the time," 

"I wake up feeling exhausted,"

"I feel heavy in the mornings." 

"I wake at 3 or 4 AM and can't get back to sleep."

The afternoon energy crash hits like a wall, productivity plummets, and suddenly you're reaching for snacks or caffeine just to function or considering crawling under your desk for a nap.

Here's what many women don't realise: that restless sleep isn't just about being tired the next day. Poor sleep can quietly sabotage your weight goals, hormones, mood, and overall resilience. Which is why sleep is often the first area we address during my coaching with clients.

What actually happens when we sleep and why it matters for women over 40

Inside your brain, there's a tiny structure called the hypothalamus - think of it as mission control for your body clock. Working alongside other glands in what's called the HPA axis (hypothalamus, pituitary, and adrenal), it orchestrates your sleep-wake cycle.

The suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), inside the hypothalamus, uses light signals from your eyes to determine when it's time to be awake and when it's time to rest. This regulates your circadian rhythm - your internal 24-hour clock.

As darkness falls, your brain signals the pineal gland to produce melatonin, while calming chemicals like GABA switch off your wake signals.

However, in today's modern world, with busy brains, endless to-do lists, stimulating screens and artificial light everywhere, this system gets easily disrupted.

Understanding sleep cycles: why quality matters more than quantity

Each night, ideally, you’ll cycle through four or five sleep cycles containing four stages:

• Stage 1: That fuzzy drifting-off phase

• Stage 2: Light (or core) sleep (about 50% of your night)

• Stage 3: Deep sleep, where physical repair happens and your brain clears out toxins

• REM sleep: Where dreaming occurs and emotions and memories are processed

When this system is disrupted - by stress, screens, alcohol, irregular bedtimes, or late-night eating - you can spend 8 hours in bed but still wake up feeling exhausted.

How poor sleep creates a downward spiral (and good sleep does the opposite)

Sleep is when your body performs its most important maintenance work. Think of it as your nightly repair crew, working behind the scenes to restore and reset everything for the day ahead.

Your hunger hormones get balanced. Good sleep keeps ghrelin (hunger signal) and leptin (fullness signal) in harmony, which means natural appetite cues and steady energy. Poor sleep? These hormones go haywire, leading to increased cravings and overeating.

Your metabolism works optimally. Quality sleep supports a healthy metabolic rate, helping your body use food efficiently rather than storing it. Sleep deprivation does the opposite - lowering your metabolic rate significantly and making weight management harder.

Your stress response resets. Good sleep allows cortisol to naturally decline at night, making way for restorative hormones. Chronic stress keeps cortisol elevated, making it harder to fall and stay asleep.

This creates either a vicious or virtuous cycle: poor sleep increases stress and disrupts healthy choices, while good sleep enhances resilience and naturally supports better decisions.

How hormones affect sleep in women over 40: what's really happening in your body

The dramatic impact hormones have on sleep quality as we age catches many women off guard. If your sleep patterns have changed in your 40s or 50s, it's likely your shifting hormones are playing their part.

During perimenopause (starting as early as your late 30s), fluctuating estrogen and progesterone levels wreak havoc on sleep. Many women struggle to fall asleep, lie awake with racing thoughts, or wake frequently. As one client put it: "I wake up like 15 times during the night."

After menopause (12 months after your last period), the pattern often shifts to waking too early - around 4 or 5 AM - and being unable to get back to sleep.

Reduced estrogen and progesterone cause:

• Decreased melatonin production, making it harder to feel naturally sleepy

• Disrupted sleep centres in the brain, affecting deep sleep cycles

• Physical symptoms: hot flashes, bladder sensitivity, restless legs.

The frustrating timing? Just when life feels most demanding - managing teenagers, caring for aging parents, peak career responsibilities - your body's natural sleep system starts working against you.

This is why supporting hormonal health and prioritising a wind down routine to promote sleep is really helpful.

Why nutrition and meal timing affects sleep quality more than you realise

Eating within 2-3 hours of bedtime significantly impacts sleep quality. When you eat, your body temperature rises for digestion, making deep sleep harder to achieve. The subsequent blood sugar drop can trigger cortisol release and cause middle-of-the-night waking.

For women in perimenopause, this is particularly problematic since dropping estrogen already increases hot flash risk - late eating adds fuel to the fire.

Digestion uses around 10% of your body's energy, so resources get diverted from crucial overnight repair processes. Plus, lying down after eating can cause acid reflux, creating additional sleep disruption.

Your liver's peak detoxification happens between 1-3 AM (exactly when many of my clients report waking up). Supporting liver function by avoiding late-night eating and alcohol can make a significant difference - especially since alcohol hangs around longer in the perimenopausal liver, disrupting both sleep and hormone processing.

So supporting the body’s natural detoxification processes are also key, by avoiding processed foods, maintaining proper hydration throughout the day and providing all the right vitamins and minerals needed within the diet.

Magnesium is a mineral often thought to support sleep, but before throwing more money at supplements, think about whether your diet contains enough magnesium-rich fruit and veg which will be better absorbed and put less pressure on the liver for processing.

And lets not forget about breakfast. Yes, breakfast!!

How you start the day, nutritionally, can have an impact on your sleep. I'm a big believer in frontloading nutrition at the start of the day and ensuring balanced blood sugar to prevent a blood sugar rollercoaster than impacts the afternoon an the evening.

The modern sleep challenges every busy woman faces

After a packed day, you finish work, rush dinner onto the table, help with homework, sort out P.E. kit for tomorrow, tidy up, do kids bedtime and collapse on the sofa by 9 PM. Despite being exhausted, you somehow end up scrolling or watching TV until 11 PM. When you finally get to bed, your mind races through tomorrow's schedule.

Sound familiar? One client shared: "Despite being nackered, I struggle to fall asleep and I'm taking Valium semi-regularly." 

Our modern lifestyle unfortunately works against good sleep - constant screen stimulation throughout the day, stressful workloads, multiple hats and responsibilites, late dinners, productivity squeezed into every moment, with no genuine wind-down time. When hormonal changes already make sleep fragile, these habits compound the problem.

Whilst it might seem impossible to include a whole new wind down routine to your day, it's actually much smaller tweaks that can make a big difference to the quality of your sleep - even if you're not increasing time in bed.

Real results: how one client doubled her deep sleep in 12 weeks

Nicola, a busy business owner, wanted her old energy back. Her Fitbit showed frequent night wakings and poor sleep quality despite spending enough time in bed.

We focused on these key areas:

• Blood sugar stability: Adding protein and fiber at breakfast eliminated energy crashes and reduced snacking

• Meal planning so that lunches were easy and allowed time for an actual break

• Work boundaries: Hard shutdown at 6 PM instead of returning to emails after dinner

• Cycle awareness: Tracking symptoms helped her understand how stress and exercise affected her recovery

Result? Nicola's average deep sleep doubled from 30-40 minutes to almost 2 hours over 12 weeks.

She said

"There’s something about when you are having sleep problems you think it’s all about the evening and night. You helped me to think about it more holistically and see how morning, noon and night are all part of good sleep habits."

The holistic approach to better sleep for women over 40

Improving sleep isn't about perfecting one evening routine - it's understanding that quality sleep depends on multiple factors. Your sleep is influenced by light exposure, stress management, meal timing, caffeine intake, and creating consistent daily rhythms that support your natural sleep-wake cycle.

Key areas that influence sleep quality:

• Sleep environment and bedtime routine

• Meal timing and composition

• Stress management and evening wind-down

• Natural hormone support

• Consistent daily rhythms

It doesn't have to be an elaborate regime. Tiny actions can have big results.

Why prioritising sleep isn't selfish - it's essential

As one client reflected: "I beat myself up about not getting to the gym, but I never prioritise sleep." Yet sleep affects everything - your mood with family, work productivity, healthy choices, and overall wellbeing - even the motivation for going to the gym!

Many women feel guilty taking time for taking time for themselves. But when you're well-rested, you're a better partner, mother, friend, and colleague. You have more patience, clearer thinking, and energy for what matters most.

The challenge? Sleep improvement often requires a personalised approach, especially when hormones are involved. What works for others might not work for you, and strategies from your 30s may need adjusting.

Your personalised transformation starts here

Feeling overwhelmed by conflicting health advice, especially with hormonal changes making everything more complicated? You're not alone.

Sustainable sleep improvements happen when you understand your unique challenges and look holistically at all the different areas that can impact it including nutrition, stress, hormones and movement.

Sleep shouldn't be a luxury - it's the foundation for everything else you want to achieve.

When you prioritise rest, everything becomes easier: maintaining healthy weight, managing stress, having energy for family and work, and feeling like yourself again.

Ready to wake up with your spark back and feel like YOU again? 

Most women I work with are not getting quality sleep. This is the foundation of getting results with boost energy, balancing hormones and losing weight, so it;s often the first port of call when I'm working 1:1 with clients.

Curious what that looks like? Click here